I am just peachy keen, yo. My first paycheck came the end of last month, and naturally the first thing I did was buy myself a used PS2 and Devil May Cry 3. There is not a happier me to be found on land or sea or air. Maybe on Pluto. If there's electricity and I have my DMC. Naturally I have gotten not a thing done at home in regards to lesson planning or manuscript proofing for the last two weeks. Dante and Vergil are much much more entertaining. Especially since I can't kill anyone in reality. I have to make up for it in my video games. And oh, are there people I'd like to kill in reality. Like, pretty much every single person out here. (Tom, you're safe in Matsushima, by out here I mean my side of town :)
My regular elementary school has been just loads of fun this month. The new ALT they have for the 5th and 6th grade is an asshat that needs to be stripped flayed salted covered in honey and thrown in a pit of fire ants. Not the Interact one that lives near me. The new one for this particular school, he's from a different company. Assholes R Us. Though he's friendly enough to me. He's even friendly to the teachers -- who are, by the way, really really nice and awesome -- when they're backs aren't turned. As soon as they walk off he immediately turns to me and tells me all kinds of things that he could do better if only they'd just let him be in charge of the classes. Because, you know, he knows everything. Really. Just ask him.
I think I'll introduce him to the ALT that lives in my apartment building.
I was actually going to tell you about my loads of fun. Right. Tangent much? Anyway, nearly every day this month that I've been to my elementary school I've had someone observing one of my classes. First the entire freaking staff of the school went to one, and then on Wednesday it was some kind of visitation day, so I had parents and grandparents and siblings and aunts and uncles in and out of my classes all day. Then Matt and Dan, my two Interac bosses/reps/people that pretend they're in charge came by and observed one. That was interesting. I was a little surprised to see them there. Evidently I'm really lucky with this elementary school. And they said I did a good job. Go me. I'm awesome. The only complaint the school has? I need to study more Japanese. Because the teachers have a really hard time trying to tell me what they want me to do. Needless to say I won't be saying anything bad about immigrants not speaking the language for quite a while.
Though, I have adjusted slightly. My phone died on me for a bit, as happens with me since the god of cell phones thinks I'm vile, and I had to go to Soft Bank and have them fix it. shinimashita is the best verb ever. It means ~~died, for those not in the know. Then I had to call a courier service because they were trying to send me registered documents that needed to be signed for when I wasn't home. That? That was really interesting. And then, the most fun of all the fun I've had in this country. I went to the post office in an attempt to transfer funds to my US bank account. Which they, eventually when we figured out what the hell we were each talking about, said I had to go to the bank to do. First, of course, I had to find the bank. Which was an adventure in and of itself, but that I will not be talking about as I want no one that can testify. And then a really nice bank teller walked me over to the ATM and we tried to figure out what I needed to do together. The bank ATMs are very inconveniently only in Japanese -- really, there are only like maybe three foreigners in this city so it would be maybe a little silly...except it's inconvenient for me, dammit -- so I will not be able to do that by myself for a while yet.
And? I still am only eating eggs and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner. Though I have taken to adding some vegetables and fruits on occasion, if that makes things better. I'll figure this cooking thing out one day, just wait. And until then, oh loving family of mine, send me food? :) And maybe some nice summer work clothes...I didn't really bring any... I'm in Japan I'm morbidly obese so there's no actual way to go buy clothes that would fit me.
And that's all for me, really. Except that the teachers in my middle school need to die in a fire. They can take Assface with them when they do, if they'd be so kind. Until then I shall be hiding from reality as much as possible. The real world? Not so much fun, really.
Is anyone doing anything interesting this summer? Anyone traveling or anything? Can I come? Last weekend Reed (the other ALT, not Assface) and I went to Sendai and visited this huge fugly freaking Buddha statue that we climbed up.
Also, Tom and Kyle and Wade and Mark, are you doing anything this weekend? We ended up missing you guys when we went to Sendai last weekend. I was thinking of going to Matsushima or something Saturday or Sunday, since I haven't been there yet this year. And the other ALT, who does have a name, really, is going on some kind of strawberry hunt with some other ALTs out here and a group of Japanese people that belong to some kind of English club that some lady runs out of her house. Really it sounds like a white slave market to me, but if you want you're welcome to come. If you come back alive and with all of your flesh, I might consider going too.
Okay, that's all I got. If I think of something else...I'll just forget it again, so you're probably safe from a random MED (Mass Email of Doom) the rest of the month. Unless Assface dies or my JHS blows up. Then you'll probably never hear from me again. Daddy, if that happens after she takes the bar exam call Brandi. She'll work for cookies and pasta. :)
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